Conucopia: Gary Louie, Part 2

   Conucopia 
   
                              Gary Louie, Part 2
                                       
   Rev. 08-Apr-1999
   
   Previous: Gary Louie, 1957-1999
   (Table of Contents) Next: Johnny Meerkat 
     _________________________________________________________________
   
   E-mail: web99@99.nasfic.org
   
   Conucopia is dedicated to the memory of Gary Louie, fan and friend.
   
   This page contains pieces by:
     * Joyce Scrivner
     * Chris Cooper
     * Mike Stern
     * Nola Frame-Gray
     * Therri Moore
     * Frank Waller
     * R-Laurraine Tutihasi
     * Robert D Ashton
       
   See also: Gary Louie, 1957-1999
     _________________________________________________________________
   
   (Joyce Scrivner, 11-Feb-1999)
   
   I was shocked. I'd just seen Gary at Bucconneer last year. (I know I
   saw him in Colorado Springs last December at Smofcon, but only to talk
   briefly.) He was a large gentleman, and very kind to me.
   
   Not only was I shocked - my brain froze into the older memories of
   fannish friends of mine who've died of heart attacks suddenly.
   
   Larry Propp, co-chair of Chicon IV, had driven himself to the hospital
   and collapsed and died on the sidewalk outside the emergency ward.
   (When he died he was only two years older than I.)
   
   Jeff Ford, one of the founders of Xcon in Milwaukee, who was ten years
   younger than I, had a heart attack two weeks after I'd talked with him
   at a local convention. He was in the hospital for a week and then died
   from a second heart attack.
   
   I felt as if anyone I know could walk out the door of my life and
   never return. And my vision(s) of consistency and plans for next year
   or next week would be as the fragile dry leaves caught under the snow
   outside my condo door - in pieces.
   
   Several years ago, I had a fannish party at my house where about a
   hundred people came and partied. (I've often ranked such gatherings by
   rolls of toilet paper consumed, or cases of beer bottles returned. In
   this ranking it would be (4) and (6).) One of the first fans I'd ever
   met was living locally and he brought a bottle of single malt scotch
   and drank most of it while running from group to group and twisting
   the words of people and reveling in their stories and actions. I
   walked him out to his car when he left at 2 or 3am. (I thought he
   walked normally, however, perhaps I wasn't watching his feet. I wasn't
   concerned about him because he is one of those people who appear to be
   always in control of their mind and body. He certainly acted that
   way.)
   
   The next day I called him to talk. He said he'd fallen asleep (or
   unconscious) at the wheel of his car and driven it into a lake.
   (Minnesota does have lots of water.) He'd climbed out of the car in
   the shallow water and walked around the lake to a military base and
   they had called the police. He wasn't arrested for being drunk. (I
   don't even know if they checked him for that.) He was given a ticket
   and his car towed, though. His car was still registered in
   Pennsylvania (he'd been living locally for a couple years by then.)
   And his driver's license was from Utah (where he hadn't lived in ten
   years.) He couldn't redeem his car until he'd taken the local driver's
   exams and (re) registered the car. So he illegally drove his
   (Pennsylvania) registered truck for the next three months. Then he
   bought his (totaled) car out of hock just to prove he was a
   responsible citizen.
   
   He told me, though, I should have noticed what was going on and taken
   away his keys and put him to bed. (This is what the television
   commercials say too. But it's difficult to take away the keys from
   someone who won't let them go.)
   
   And I have thought about this since. (No, I've never seen him drink a
   bottle of single malt again, but I have seen him drink enough to be
   sorry for what he did and forgot while under the influence. And I've
   been sorry for it as well. Hindsight is 20/20.) At what point can we
   assume responsibility as our brother's/friend's/lover's keeper? At
   what point do we say we tried as best we could?
   
   And one thing I did do was get some training in emergency first aid (I
   qualified as an EMT and I'm training captain for the Emergency Brigade
   at work.) And I've tried to watch my friends and myself.
   
   So I was thinking about Gary, and Larry and Jeff. I was working
   testing (using Java) which wasn't going well. I was eating lunch. I
   was answering email. And one of my friends at work came by and said he
   was leaving to have his heart checked (he was driving to his wife
   who'd drive him to an urgent-care clinic.) And we talked about other
   concerns. And five minutes after he left, my brain came back from all
   the things I'd been thinking and doing, and I realized I hadn't
   followed up on any of my training. I hadn't even checked what he was
   doing, and I got furious at myself.
   
   (And of course my friend is fine. He came back and we zinged back and
   forth about what I hadn't done and how he was an adult and could take
   care of himself and all those things each person demands in his
   independence and integrity. And my final reply to our spat, was I'd
   much rather he was there telling me off than anything else at that
   point. And next time (for whatever reason I need to be at least
   responsible to myself - and this time I really didn't have to have
   done anything but ask him when I could have asked him - to check that
   all is well) I will do better I promise.
   
   Which really brings me back to Gary Louie. He performed all those
   responsibilities of being a friend and someone independent and caring
   with charm and made them appear off-handed and without thought. But he
   did think, and he did care, and I saw him now and then at the points
   where he, also, was tired and busy. He still took time to talk with
   me, and laugh a little. I wish I'd known him better, but I know I
   always thought there was time enough to come.
   
   I met Gary first at Minicon about six years ago. There had been a
   party at Minicon the previous year for the LACON III bid and someone
   needed to be at Minicon for a party or to sell memberships for the
   bid. Gary agreed to come as he'd never been to Minneapolis before and
   was interested in what Minicon would be like. I'd kept three or four
   cases of soda from the previous party for whatever LACON was doing
   that year. Bruce Pelz had told me Gary would be there and I made
   arrangements to give him the supplies and helped set up some
   membership selling, just making sure he had what he needed in a new
   place. I had also recently reprinted Ethel Lindsay's TAFF trip report
   and copies of this were due to be given to Bruce. Gary was willing to
   carry them to LA on his return trip.
   
   Gary enjoyed Minicon the year he was there - I don't recall seeing
   much of him. I think that was the year I ran registration and most of
   the work for registration is during the convention in long hours on
   Thursday evening, Friday afternoon and evening and all day Saturday.
   (Minicon only sells full memberships so we don't plan on selling many
   memberships on Sunday. Pre-purchased memberships are available through
   operations when regular registration is closed.) So I only saw Gary
   early in the convention and as he was ready to leave.
   
   But he enjoyed railroads and I'd suggested some local railroad fans to
   him. And he was a fan of Legos, and I know he made it to LegoLand at
   the Mall of America. (Someone just sent me the URL showing a photo of
   a video screen built with Legos, it seems appropriate.) He had spent
   his time with people who had more time than I had. He'd enjoyed
   himself and spent most of the money he brought with him. He'd sold
   some memberships and had a party and spent time looking at trains and
   Legos and a little at Minicon. Gary's suitcases were loaded when he
   left, and the fanzines were in them as well.
   
   I saw him somewhere at ConFrancisco that year. My traveling around
   Northern California before the convention (Eureka, Napa and Sonoma
   Valleys, the coast, San Simeon) overshadowed my Worldcon in San
   Francisco. Most of what I recall from the convention is spending time
   in the fan lounge where parties were hosted by Minneapolis in 73 and
   Pennsfa and other organizations.
   
   Gary ran the Exhibits area for LACON III and Bruce Pelz recruited me
   to put together an exhibit on fan funds. (I never finished the
   exhibit, as I'd wanted. I've got sheets and information on fan funds
   in my 'unfinished projects' file. I still want to have a complete
   exhibit assembled. But I had something to show at LACON III.) I
   attended (early that year) a meeting for the committee in LA which
   covered exhibits and where we were expected to set them up. I
   talked/e-mailed him on what he needed and expected. And I hauled a
   huge bag of stuff for them with me. I also collected copies of most of
   the trip reports to file in folders.
   
   On the day I arrived, I found Gary high above the exhibit floor
   surrounded by small toys and the remains of fast food tins. He also
   had about five people demanding his attention for creating spaces,
   distributing tape or thumbtacks, etc. He managed to talk to me
   briefly, pass me the needed supplies (lots of hooks and some binder
   clips) and send me down to the floor while chaos surrounded him and
   his eyelids slid down further over his pupils.
   
   I went down to the floor, saw how other displays were constructed and
   set mine up as well. I'd collected Bruce's copies of various fund
   reports and put them out available for people to read as well. I then
   went back to the hotel and started putting together the Timebinders
   room (part of the fan lounge that Geri Sullivan was running.) Roxanne
   Smith-Graham had brought her computer and scanner and was scanning in
   photos and fanzines.
   
   I passed though the exhibits area in time for one of the 'Sector
   General' runs. (Joe Siclari had created 'scenarios' where there was a
   sick alien and a group of fans dressed in Sector General scrubs would
   push the alien through the crowd on a gurney and duck into a hospital
   space all the while loud Sector General hospital sounds were being
   alarmed. (James White the professional guest of honor is the author of
   the Sector General books.)) I recognized Gary Louie, Joe Siclari, Edie
   Stern (Joe's wife) and James White dressed in Sector General scrubs
   while they ran through the aisles of the exhibits area. It looked
   great fun.
   
   At some point I talked to Gary about one of the exhibits which wasn't
   completely assembled and he and I helped put it up. (History of
   bidding?)
   
   After the convention was over, I came back to the convention hall and
   disassembled my part of the exhibits and helped to take down and pack
   (in a rental truck bound for San Antonio and the next year's Worldcon
   site) all the remaining exhibits. I collected a couple of the LACON
   helium stars to take back to Minneapolis with me (they had decorated
   the high ceiling of the exhibit hall with inflated helium stars.) The
   stars lasted not very long on my trip. I think the altitude and
   pressurized cabins of airliners affects the seal on the balloons.
   However, I still have two deflated helium stars hung under my glass
   table in the living room. Gary and I and the remains of the tear down
   crew packed the rental truck with the abandoned balloons and
   decorations to fill it.
   
   During the deconstruction period (early on Tuesday morning as I
   recall) Gary made final arrangements with me to go with a small group
   of other fans to Disneyland. I know it's tacky and gaudy and it isn't
   real, but I still find it traditional to go to the mouse kingdom when
   in Anaheim. I met Gary in my hotel lobby about an hour after the truck
   left. We (and a couple other fans) loaded ourselves into the shuttle
   bus to the park. (Mind you the rental truck we'd hoped had left for
   San Antonio was parked in front of the hotel and Gary restrained
   himself from going over and checking on why the truck was still there.
   (He told me later they wanted to put more things in it, and were a
   little appalled to find it full of helium stars, ... smile)
   
   As we entered the park we found yet another fan and she attached
   herself to our small group as well. We just followed Gary's lead (as
   native guide) and circled through the major rides, concession stands
   (I think everyone bought a hat? I was very tempted by an Oscar Meyer
   Wiener matchbox truck complete with software, but Dave Clark (ex-chair
   of ConFrancisco) was the person who fell. Gary led us to dinner in the
   New Orleans quarter (where we met up with another segment of fans.) We
   took the monorail (where we found the Japanese fan guests of honor) to
   one of the parade routes where we watched the electrically lit
   costumes (designed for darkness) with built-in sound systems go by. I
   abandoned the group to catch a train to the front of the park and the
   hotel and bed, but Gary (who had been up long before me) was still
   going strong to the next stop and the next ride and the next
   fireworks.
   
   He was working with the exhibits again at San Antonio. (I had
   volunteered to help staff the staff lounge.) There were problems at
   San Antonio as there weren't enough panels on which to hang the
   exhibits. Gary ended up scrounging up some wood and putting up some of
   the exhibits, but not all the planned exhibits could be displayed. I
   talked to him at the table where Bruce Pelz was shoveling out LACON
   III stickers (from the LACON bidding sticker books) to give away. Then
   we walked around the huckster's room a couple times. I introduced him
   to Lowell Cunningham who wrote the comic books on which the movie MEN
   IN BLACK is based.
   
   I saw Gary next at Smofcon in Boston. We talked about exhibits because
   I wanted to see if it was possible to get the SF professional's photo
   display to be shipped to Aussiecon III. Gary said he'd given up
   working on exhibits in the future and planned to work on registration
   at Bucconneer. However he had all the exhibit information at his
   fingertips and in his mind. I expected to see him in Maryland at
   Bucconneer. I hugged him and said goodbye when his shuttle bus to the
   airport was ready.
   
   And I only saw him in passing at Bucky. I worked the Australia table
   selling memberships for the 1999 Worldcon and the Nesfa table selling
   books. And I helped put up 'fan rooms' in the exhibit area -
   Timebinders had a display. I spent time talking with Joe Siclari and
   Edie Stern who had computers and scanners for photos. We just saw each
   other in passing at Smofcon in Colorado Springs last December. But we
   never spent any time together during those conventions. We knew we'd
   see each other next year (at Nasfic, which he was working, or
   Smofcon.) And now we won't.
   
   There is a group of fans that are part of the traveling Worldcon
   crowd. You see them working registration one Worldcon, or staff lounge
   or sitting at the huckster room door badging it. They take orders to
   the store for the Chairman's party or they sit in the office and
   answer phones. They know you from Intersection, or you talked to them
   on Tuesday night of teardown at ConFederation. They don't knock on the
   doors of someone requiring only (Australian/Denver/Texas) help, but
   they will show up and put together registration when the person
   assigned resigns two months before the convention.
   
   Gary Louie was one of these people. He took people who worked with him
   at their value and supplied what they needed and only complained when
   people disappeared or disappointed him and then only softly. The next
   year, at Worldcon he'd be talking to the chair again and fetching a
   load of supplies from the grocery or hardware store. At Smofcon he'd
   be sitting in the audience and hectoring some ex-Worldcon chair. He
   was dependable and kind and if you were tired he'd help cheer you up.
   I knew I would see him in New Orleans in December, after all he was
   born the same year as my youngest sister. But it's February now, and
   he's already gone. Smofcon and New Orleans this year will have other
   people but not him.
   
   And I will miss him.
   
   John Donne said (though only part is usually quoted): No man is an
   Island, entire of it self; every man is a piece of the Continent, a
   part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the
   less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy
   friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I
   am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the
   bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
     _________________________________________________________________
   
   (Chris Cooper, 17-Feb-1999)
   
   I didn't see Gary that often, the Atlantic tended to get in the way a
   little, yet somehow he seemed to be at every US convention I was at -
   he certainly was at at least 18 out of the 25 or so I've been to and
   was someone I looked out for. It won't be the same without him.
   
   Since both of us would tend to be working, our paths largely crossed
   when our jobs did - although we did also catch up for the occasional
   meal or "sweet wine party". I can't claim close friendship but we were
   rather more than acquaintances and I took pleasure in his company.
   
   Many of my most vivid memories are from Bucconeer - he was on
   Registration and I was running Site Selection so our jobs crossed
   quite a bit. As with every con job I ever saw him do he appeared to be
   completely stressed out and overworked - and yet he would always try
   and help you out if at all possible. And yet I often wondered how much
   of this "I'm completely stressed out" was real and how much part of
   his on-duty persona. Socialising at cons, he was always much more
   relaxed, with a really dry sense of humour. You always had a sense
   that there was something wickedly funny busy bubbling up inside him,
   waiting for the perfect moment to escape. It often did.
   
   He was one year older than me (although I had actually thought him
   younger) and his early demise helps to reinforce the sense of
   mortality I got from a hit and run driver 3 years ago. I now have a
   (permanent?) limp but at least I'm still here to limp! I'm glad to
   have known him and he set a fine example of a life - live life to the
   full, have many interests and pursue each one wholeheartedly, be a
   friend to many people and, above all, be happy.
     _________________________________________________________________
   
   (Mike Stern, 19-Feb-1999)
   
   I miss Gary. I've been in shock for the last couple of weeks, and
   found it hard to speak. Gary was the dependable quiet person at the
   LASFS.
   
   Gary, as many must know, was one of the (if not THE) best Mah-Jong
   players in the club. It's a good bet that Lucy will miss getting
   clobbered by him at the game.
     _________________________________________________________________
   
   (Nola Frame-Gray, 23-Feb-1999)
   
   Gary and Legos
   
   I can't believe Gary Louie is gone. It seems just yesterday I was at
   LOSCON, at a panel taking notes as he was talking about a special size
   of legos which he got for his nephews with blocks large enough to be
   "child safe."
   
   I'm grateful that convention newsletter editor, Chaz Baden, assigned
   me the Legos panel. It gave me the rare chance to see Gary in a
   special light as he talked about the toys he loved. It was a side of
   him I never saw before...and will never see again...
   
   Guess Gary won't be able to go to Legoland which will open up on the
   20th...
   
   What follows is the article which came from attending that panel.
   
     Legos -- The Panel
     
     You remember Legos. Brightly colored rectangles with six raised
     circles on one side, six depressions on the other. Blocks which all
     fit together in whatever shape you want...Just as long as it's
     rectangular. Nice, little rectangles. And now's there's a panel
     about them.
     
     What on earth could they find to talk about?
     
     Plenty.
     
     Lego trains...with their own track, orange Lego which was released
     for Halloween, chess Lego, and Legos for building model cars. There
     are seven Lego sets with Large-sized pieces so your little nephew
     can play without your worrying about him swallowing pieces. There's
     even software so that you can program Lego robots not to roll off
     the edge of the table.
     
     Lego is a privately owned company with no public stock. This lets
     them experiment with such items as, Lego sets for girls which comes
     with special pink blocks. The company tries to appeal to two groups
     of customers -- complex stuff for people who grew up with Lego and
     those who are discovering Lego for the first time.
     
     Here's more Lego trivia you can't live without:
     
     * The company has discontinued the pirate line. Last year it was the
       monorail. Now there's Shuttle Launch stuff.
     * There's a whole new series of pieces which let you make
       Japanese-type robots, complete with ball and socket joints.
     * MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) has been using Lego
       robots to teach engineers, inspiring them to new feats of
       creativity.
     * Pic 'n Save and the neighborhood garage sale are good places to
       find Lego at a discount.
       
     Upcoming plans include:
     
     * Star Wars Lego which will coincide with the release of the new
       movie. Alas, no plans for a Death Star Lego. It would take too
       many pieces.
     * March 21, 1999 will herald the opening of Legoland in Carlsbad,
       near San Diego.
       
     Today Lego--tomorrow the world. So much for thinking of them as
     mere interchangeable blocks.
     
   From issue 7 of THE RESTORED BURBANK POST, --November 29, 1998.
   Reprinted with permission from the editor.
     _________________________________________________________________
   
   (Therri Moore, 28-Feb-1999)
   
   I didn't know Gary very well; over the years I got to know him by his
   dedication and volunteerism to fan society. I would see him buzz by
   like a busy bee with purpose and would admire the way he was always
   there when people needed him. And yet, I never saw him smile. I never
   knew why, and in the circumstances under which he passed on, I never
   knew just how alone he was in the end. He never told me, and I never
   asked. I assumed that he had a happy, secure life with many friends
   who loved him. And yet, I never saw him smile. And until I found out,
   never suspected how ill he was. As with most fans, I viewed him as
   part of my family, very like a cousin with whom I had little contact.
   I accepted his presence as if he was a part of my universe. And now a
   small bit of my universe is gone. As I said before, I didn't know him
   very well. But his caring soul still touched my life.
     _________________________________________________________________
   
   (Frank Waller, 04-Mar-1999)
   
   When I first came to LASFS, Gary was the first person who said hello
   to me and called me by name. I didn't feel so out of place then. He
   was one of the "real" people at the club. Gary was one of those people
   who gave a damn - a real open handed individual that I will truly
   miss. I will always remember him tapping away on his laptop in the
   clubhouse, and being the ultimate giving person.
     _________________________________________________________________
   
   (R-Laurraine Tutihasi, 02-Apr-1999)
   
   When I heard about this, it was as a rumour. I hoped it was untrue.
   Unfortunately, I soon confirmed that it was true.
   
   I really don't recall when I first met Gary. Certainly, I've known him
   since I moved to the LA area back in the early 80's.
   
   He was always so helpful. Mike Weasner and I were unable to attend
   LoneStarCon as planned due to financial constraints. He took our
   Chicon voting papers and cheques with him and delivered them
   faithfully. He returned with receipts for us. Later, the Chicon
   committee got our memberships mixed up, and he stepped in to help us
   straighten out the problem.
   
   Lately, we saw him rarely; because we so rarely managed to get up to
   the LASFS or the aftermeeting due to our schedule and the distance to
   the clubhouse. In fact, we haven't been up since his death, partly due
   to some health problems I have developed. However, the meetings won't
   seem quite right without him.
     _________________________________________________________________
   
   (Robert D Ashton, 08-Apr-1999)
   
   The day was a wonderful spring one, the sun was warm, the flowers
   chanted whispering phrases, I was amazed that spring had finally
   come... then I found out Gary had gone on... at first the loss was
   personal..but as I dwelled upon it I realized he would be missed but
   his touch will be felt and his spirit will remain with us even though
   he has moved on... I never spoke much to him... I an artist always was
   glad to hear from him because I knew he had a collection of my art and
   was pleased to send to the cons more if only to help out his
   collection... my next piece that I will make will be in his memory..
   and I know he will like it.
   
   Merry met,
   Robert D Ashton
     _________________________________________________________________
   
   Previous: Gary Louie, 1957-1999
   (Table of Contents) Next: Johnny Meerkat 
   
     Top | Table of Contents | What's New | Register | Addresses | Help
                             info@99.nasfic.org